ellie (
vaccination) wrote2020-06-24 06:22 pm
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The sun hasn't been up for an hour before the daylight sees Ellie pounding her fist on Joel and Tess' door. She knows it'll only be Tess in. She saw Jesse speaking to Tommy and Joel by the stables. They'll be out for hours, and Ellie imagines this conversation will only take minutes.
When the door doesn't immediately open, Ellie knocks louder and calls up towards the upstairs windows.
"Tess! Tess, get up!"
She doesn't give a fuck if it sounds like something's wrong because something is wrong. She's known it since they returned to Jackson. It's been eating at her, always in the back of her mind, and that last outing with Joel has lit a fire. She hasn't been sleeping. Last night, she couldn't manage more than a few minutes at a time before the conversation would replay in her mind, over and over and over.
Not so much the words, but the look in his eyes as he said them.
She's always been able to tell when Joel is lying to her even before she realized it.
When the door doesn't immediately open, Ellie knocks louder and calls up towards the upstairs windows.
"Tess! Tess, get up!"
She doesn't give a fuck if it sounds like something's wrong because something is wrong. She's known it since they returned to Jackson. It's been eating at her, always in the back of her mind, and that last outing with Joel has lit a fire. She hasn't been sleeping. Last night, she couldn't manage more than a few minutes at a time before the conversation would replay in her mind, over and over and over.
Not so much the words, but the look in his eyes as he said them.
She's always been able to tell when Joel is lying to her even before she realized it.

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To be robbed of that is a knife in the gut, and it twists every time she thinks about it.
She looks up when Tess enters and lies.
"Yeah." And then back to the truth. "Dina sat with him."
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"Good," she says, and she approaches the bed. She bends over Joel briefly to put a ghost of a kiss to his forehead, stopping an inch short of actually touching him. When she withdraws back to her chair, she puts a hand to Ellie's shoulder briefly, firmly.
"You talk to the Doc yet?"
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"Just did," she replies. "We're going to keep him under for a few days to bring the swelling down, then see if we can better assess... but so far, no warning signs of it getting worse."
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"Anything could be messed up with his brain."
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She has had a number of hours to think about this, but that's Tess. Planning, and always adapting that plan.
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"We gotta find a way to make it work."
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"It's a whole lot of space for two people," she replies. She's certainly not going to maintain it alone, especially considering she'll be picking up more of the load, at least for a couple years. "But we've got time. See what he thinks."
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It's said without hesitation as she looks at Joel's swollen face. She'd been so excited when the garage was offered to her. Her own space. Her own everything. Now, it's the last place she wants to be.
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Probably the soundest he'd slept in years.
His sleep now is so chemical that Tess feels grim looking at him.
"You two have barely spoken for a long time now," she remarks. "Don't get me wrong, I know he'd love to have you, but if you've got some bones to pick, last thing he needs is..."
More stress? More heartache?
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"I'm not going to fuck it up or... make things worse. I want to be here for him. It's--after everything, it's the least I can do."
Figuring out forgiveness and where she stands on that can wait, but he needs to be alive for her to do that.
He needs to be alive.
"I'm not going to leave him."
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"Did you and Tommy find any sign of anyone else?"
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"Found some tracks," she replies. "Followed 'em long enough to catch up, took care of 'em. They were WLF like the ones at the manor, so there's probably more up in Seattle. Not our problem, that far away, and the little bitch who shot first is dead, so."
So what's the point in going any further?
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While torturing him.
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"God... he's too old for this shit."
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Not ones on a horse or with a rifle, not anymore, but years just the same. Tess sighs, slouching into her seat. It makes her feel old, too, forty-four just recently. Too young to lose her partner, though, that’s for sure. The whole idea makes her want to retch, but she’s got a kid to keep it together for.
She’ll probably have a good cry with Maria later, once she’s gotten some sleep.
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"He's gonna hate having to need help."
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Assuming he hasn’t lost depth perception or coordination or anything, that is..
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Ellie thinks she'll help him do just about anything. If all her free time is spent keeping him company or being his assistant at the shooting range, then so be it.
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As if anyone truly retires in this kind of world, but it’s nice to have something lighthearted.
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And Ellie knows if Joel is being particularly stubborn, she can get him to bend easier than Tess. Ellie looks over to her, letting go of Joel's hand as she leans back in her seat.
"You should go sleep. I'll stay with him."
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She hopes it's true.
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