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The sun hasn't been up for an hour before the daylight sees Ellie pounding her fist on Joel and Tess' door. She knows it'll only be Tess in. She saw Jesse speaking to Tommy and Joel by the stables. They'll be out for hours, and Ellie imagines this conversation will only take minutes.

When the door doesn't immediately open, Ellie knocks louder and calls up towards the upstairs windows.

"Tess! Tess, get up!"

She doesn't give a fuck if it sounds like something's wrong because something is wrong. She's known it since they returned to Jackson. It's been eating at her, always in the back of her mind, and that last outing with Joel has lit a fire. She hasn't been sleeping. Last night, she couldn't manage more than a few minutes at a time before the conversation would replay in her mind, over and over and over.

Not so much the words, but the look in his eyes as he said them.

She's always been able to tell when Joel is lying to her even before she realized it.

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"I'll move in. I'll help."

It's said without hesitation as she looks at Joel's swollen face. She'd been so excited when the garage was offered to her. Her own space. Her own everything. Now, it's the last place she wants to be.

Tess frowns, and she watches the back of Ellie's head with some curiosity. When Joel had come into the house the night before, he'd been smiling ear to ear, even if his eyes had stayed on the floor. Better to hide the tears streaming down his face, probably. He'd come to bed and laid his head on her lap and sighed like a world of troubles had evaporated. Hadn't wanted to talk about it much, but Tess had figured what had happened. Joel slept with Tess running her fingers through his hair, slept through Tess easing him to bed proper, even with a coffee in him.

Probably the soundest he'd slept in years.

His sleep now is so chemical that Tess feels grim looking at him.

"You two have barely spoken for a long time now," she remarks. "Don't get me wrong, I know he'd love to have you, but if you've got some bones to pick, last thing he needs is..."

More stress? More heartache?

"I'm not--" She doesn't know what to say. Ellie sighs, leaning forward a bit, both hands on Joel's now.

"I'm not going to fuck it up or... make things worse. I want to be here for him. It's--after everything, it's the least I can do."

Figuring out forgiveness and where she stands on that can wait, but he needs to be alive for her to do that.

He needs to be alive.

"I'm not going to leave him."

"Okay," Tess replies. Obviously a lot has changed, with Joel potentially on his deathbed, but as with all things, Tess will believe it when it happens. Lots of things could still change. "It'll probably be at least a week before we can move him home. In the mean time, we'll get you moved back into the spare bedroom."

Ellie nods, finding some peace in getting that settled, at least.

"Did you and Tommy find any sign of anyone else?"

Tess nods.

"Found some tracks," she replies. "Followed 'em long enough to catch up, took care of 'em. They were WLF like the ones at the manor, so there's probably more up in Seattle. Not our problem, that far away, and the little bitch who shot first is dead, so."

So what's the point in going any further?

"But what is more come?" It'll take time for them to realize whoever the fuck these people are didn't come back. "We don't know why, unless... unless she told Joel."

While torturing him.

"Then what? They get into Jackson, armed?" Tess replies. "Not a chance. We'll be on high alert for weeks. And if Joel knows something, he'll tell us when he can, but until then... we deal with the problems we have right here."

Which is Joel's recovery. Even if he manages to pull through without some sort of long term brain damage, and can handle the fact he has one leg, it's just one more thing to fuck up his life.

"God... he's too old for this shit."

“Retirement used to be 65,” Tess replies. “He still has years in him yet.”

Not ones on a horse or with a rifle, not anymore, but years just the same. Tess sighs, slouching into her seat. It makes her feel old, too, forty-four just recently. Too young to lose her partner, though, that’s for sure. The whole idea makes her want to retch, but she’s got a kid to keep it together for.

She’ll probably have a good cry with Maria later, once she’s gotten some sleep.

"He won't be able to patrol anymore. He'll have to be happy with making stuff out of wood and playing guitar on the porch," she mutters, perhaps more to Joel than Tess. He has that to live for, at least. And them.

"He's gonna hate having to need help."

“He’s gonna loathe it,” Tess agrees. “But maybe it’s time he learned to slow down. He’s had his adventures. No reason he can’t teach kids to shoot, if he still wants to help on that front.”

Assuming he hasn’t lost depth perception or coordination or anything, that is..

"Early retirement."

Ellie thinks she'll help him do just about anything. If all her free time is spent keeping him company or being his assistant at the shooting range, then so be it.

“Mmhm,” she hums. He won’t like it one bit. Tess yawns again but her mind feels wide awake. “Guess it’s just as well, you moving back in. It means I won’t have to temporarily retire too just to look after him.”

As if anyone truly retires in this kind of world, but it’s nice to have something lighthearted.

"Thought you wouldn't complain about an extra pair of hands to help."

And Ellie knows if Joel is being particularly stubborn, she can get him to bend easier than Tess. Ellie looks over to her, letting go of Joel's hand as she leans back in her seat.

"You should go sleep. I'll stay with him."

“I’m not complaining,” she replies, waving off the offer of sleep. It’d be nice, but she wants to be here for a bit, too. “In fact, I’m glad. Not for the help, just because he’ll be glad to have you there. Give him a reason to really lick this thing.”

"Do you really think so?"

She hopes it's true.

Tess lets out a long breath.

“I don’t know what exactly you said to him that night, but I have some idea,” she remarks. “Can’t remember the last time I saw him so relaxed.”

Ellie presses her lips together, arms crossing over her chest. She can't believe that could be their last fucking conversation. It can't be. The world can't be that cruel.

"I called him an asshole."

Part of it.

"And... I told him I didn't think I could forgive him for what happened at the hospital. But I'd like to try. So he better fucking wake up."

“Sure sounds like it,” Tess nods.

God, it’s been such a long few years. It was strange, watching this man positively bloom into fatherhood, thrilled with every bit of it, even the tedious parts, like twenty years of good times got dropped on his doorstep after a long, dark night. It was excruciating to watch him realize he’d lost it. Watch him linger at the ends of conversations, learn to be happy with scraps of attention.

Watch him devastated when she cut him out almost entirely.

“He’s stubborn, almost as much as you. He’ll pull through for you.”

He'll pull through for her even when she's been the asshole. Fuck the Fireflies. Fuck the cure. None of that would matter much if Joel wasn't here, would it? She knows why Joel did what he did. She was just too stubborn to say as much that night.

Ellie squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry, and then just bends over to rest her forehead on top of Joel's forearm.

"He'd be freaked out to hear you so optimistic," she says, voice thick.

“Yeah, well, when I bust out the optimism, good things happen,” she replies. “We wouldn’t have taken you this far if I didn’t decide that for us — and now I’m deciding he’s going to pull through.”

He has to, truly. Tess isn’t sure she has it in her to lose him, not not. Five years ago she might have pushed it down and moved on, but not now. Now there’s stakes.

"I hope he can hear that. Might just pull through to say shit about it."

Now that his sense of humor has come home from the war.

“Me too.”

Tess snorts a little.

“Joel,” she calls. “I’m gonna trade our house below market value if you don’t pull through!”

"That might sent him to the grave quicker," Ellie mutters. "Then he'll just haunt you."