contact ☣ ❝Am I ever getting boobs or what?❞

[vaccination]

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[runningstart]

[Wally sounds like he's talking around a pretty big mouthful.] I got ano'er one, hol' on. [He swallows.]

So this lady carrying her baby gets on a bus. The driver takes one look at the baby and goes, "Yeugh; lady, that has got to be the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The lady does to sit down, fuming. The man she sits next to asks her what happened, and the lady says, "The driver just insulted me!"

The man turns to the lady and he says, "Go kick his ass, miss. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

[vaccination]

[Ellie wonders if Wally ever stops eating. She'd ask, but he's already talking. So quick!]

Oh my god, where are you getting these from?

[runningstart]

I google some of 'em. [Another bite.]

[vaccination]

[A beat of silence.]

Uh, what?

[runningstart]

Google's a search engine. You use it to look stuff up online. [That explanation was surprisingly free of any kind of mocking or jokes.]

[vaccination]

[Maybe he's nicer when he's eating...]

Oh. [She doesn't really get it.] That bored today, huh? Nothing to watch?

[runningstart]

Mmm, I'm not really feeling Netflix. The relationship got too serious too fast, so we're on a break while we date other people.

how many food icons do you have

[vaccination]

[The eyeroll is audible.]

Is that all you ever think about?

believe it or not, not as many as the show offers

[runningstart]

Prrretty much, yeah.

i'm laughing so hard, they don't stop iusdbguisdbg

[vaccination]

I can tell.

[runningstart]

Okay, I got another joke. You're gonna love it.

So this lady has twins, and she gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mom. When she gets the picture, the lady tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins though. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

[vaccination]

[That takes Ellie a few moments longer than it should; geography is not her strong point and she wonders if she needs to know where Spain and Egypt are in relation to each other. Apparently not!]

That's horrible! What the fuck, and you say I'm bad?

[runningstart]

I'm sorry that you're so intimidated by my great joke skills, but I'll take those comments as compliments.

[vaccination]

You seem desperate for 'em, so be my guest, Wally.

[runningstart]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I'm gonna finish my dinner now, I'll talk to you later.

[vaccination]

Waitwaitwait, hold your horses. [Moody!] Do you like... pancakes?

[runningstart]

I like roughly 100% of all food, why?

[vaccination]

I happen to make awesome pancakes. [Awesome as in not burnt anymore.]

[runningstart]

...I happen to eat awesome pancakes.

Wow that's quite a coincidence, I mean, who would've thought it'd work out like that?

[vaccination]

Man, that's such a coincidence, you're right! Maybe tomorrow you can--[come over and get grilled by Joel and then watched like a hawk]

Uh, I mean, maybe tomorrow I can come over?

[runningstart]

That was pretty suspicious, pal. But sure, come over tomorrow morning. Show me your pancake skills.

[vaccination]

Your face is suspicious. But yeah, I'll be there.

[runningstart]

Cool. See you then. [Wally already feels a little better. He'll go make sure that the kitchen's stocked up once he hangs up.

Thanks, Ellie.]

[vaccination]

See ya.