vaccination | contact ☣ ❝Am I ever getting boobs or what?❞

Hm. Yeah.

[Joel hears what Ellie says but he's taken to looking out over the ocean, at the lazy waves, the water sparkling under the sun, the lone seagull flying across the sky, how the water stretches on and on until it meets the sky. He takes a moment to drink in the calming sound of the waves lapping at the shore and the smell and feel of the gentle sea breeze pushing through the air.

He finally looks down at Ellie.]

Wanna go for a walk?

[Distracted reply more or less ignored, Ellie's busy inching over towards the waves. The breeze keeps getting her hair into her mouth, so she holds it back as she watches the shallow water pool around her feet in the sand. It's cold, but after that walk over coals she's glad for it.

Just... wow.]

Huh?

[A walk?]

Yeah, sure. As long as we stay near the water.

[Joel can't help it: he tenses up ever so slightly at the way Ellie approaches the water. It's fine, he knows it's fine - nothing will happen to her, Ellie won't go running into the water, he won't let anything happen to her. But still, things he'd rather forget niggle at the back of his mind. Things like the taste of stagnant water in his throat as he frantically applied compressions to Ellie's chest.

He tries to shove that aside as he crouches down and starts rolling the hems of his jeans up over his ankles and up his shins.] Just don't go walkin' out too far, alright?

Pssht, do you think I wanna drown?

[She goes out of her way to avoid it, most days. The waves seem nice and calm here at the sand, but every now and then she sees a bigger one looming on the horizon and it makes her heart drop. Fuck that. The last thing she'd ever want is to be caught under a wave.]

[Joel looks down sharply as he finishes rolling up his jeans. Jesus. He swallows with a slight clench of his jaw, then stands tall and heads after Ellie. He comes to a slow stop beside her, once again peering out at the water before glancing down alongside him at her.

He's not going to even acknowledge that remark of hers about drowning. Hell, no.]

So, is this everything you hoped for? How you imagined the ocean to be like?

Lacking the pirate ships and mermaids, but you can't deny that view.

[It's a lot more special than the city, though. It's the ocean, and they're there because they want to be. Not because anyone asked them to, or promised them a reward, or some hope that things could change. It's nice. She likes hanging out with Joel when it's very obviously just because. Because they like spending time with each other.]

How 'bout you? Is it like you remember?

[Pirate ships and mermaids. Joel can't help uttering a quiet, "Heh," at that. He knows Ellie is just joking - although, part of him wonders if that is the image Ellie actually had in mind of the sea. Makes sense that she would, he supposes. The closest she ever would have came to the sea was that dark, dismal beach they'd ended up on with Henry and Sam in the middle of the night. Nothing but decay and the always lingering threat of death awaiting them at every turn. Jesus, he and Ellie both would have drowned there if Henry hadn't--

Yeah. Well, he's not going to think about that.]

Yeah. Yeah, it is. [He's silent for a moment as he continues gazing out at the calm, cool water, while a small wave washes in over his feet. It's cold, sharp, refreshing.

Long time ago, back before the outbreak, I went on a cruise. Ever heard of a cruise?

A cruise? Yeah. Like a vacation on a big ship, right?

[Like so many things, she'd found brochures with pictures of giant cruise ships on them. See Alaska, see Spain, stuff like that.]

Yeah, exactly like that.

[Pushing his hands into his pockets, he starts slowly walking, looking down at his feet as the water ebbs back out towards the sea again.]

Spent ten days on a cruise ship, travellin' around the Caribbean. Just out on the ocean.

What's there to do on a cruise ship?

[Instead of following next to Joel, she follows behind. She may or may not be trying to follow in his footsteps in the sand.]

[Hearing Ellie falling into step behind him is familiar. It's what they did for the better part of a year. He looks out at the ocean again, squinting against the sun.]

On the ship I was on? A lotta things. You could play mini-golf, go rollerblading, go on the water slides, go to the cinema, play video games, go dancing, go to karaoke bars, go snorkelling, shopping...

Or you could do a whole lotta nothin'. Just laze around all day by the pool.

Sounds nice.

[It's about all she can say. She doesn't know what mini-golf is, has some idea what rollerblading is, has never seen a water slide... they're all abstract ideas to her. It's hard to be excited or miss stuff she doesn't understand.

Except--]

Wait. Are you saying there's a pool on a ship on the ocean?

Yeah, it was. [Nice, that is.] Crowded, though.

[And busy. Sarah had wanted to try everything, and even though Joel had been pretty tired from having worked so much leading up to the cruise, he'd done almost everything with her. Wanted to fit in as much time with her as possible, try to make up for all the time he wasn't home. He always thought he was making up for lost time when he'd set aside time for vacations or days where it was just Sarah and him hanging out together, but in hindsight... it was never enough.

Ellie's question about the pool pulls him out of his momentarily sullen thoughts.]

Hm? Oh. Yeah. A few pools, actually.

[She doesn't need to ask to know that he didn't go on that cruise alone. Of course he'd gone with Sarah, maybe Tommy, too. There's a little pang of something in her chest, and she's unsure whether it's envy or jealousy or if she just feels sorry for Joel.

Probably better not to dwell on it, for both their sakes.]

What's a place you've always wanted to visit?

[Joel has to think about that question for a moment. A place he's always wanted to visit... That hasn't remotely been an option for years, and every place on earth is as ravaged with infection as America is back at home.

And Texas... Well, he's longed for home - the home he knew before the outbreak - for the past two decades. He's never quite been able to shake that homesickness. It's a place he's never been able to return to, though. For a number of reasons.]

Dunno. Don't think about it much. Ain't like there's many places to go back home.

But we're not home. You should think about it some more.

[Maybe they could take their own little trip for fun. Not a cruise, but maybe a plane or something. Anywhere would be good.]

[Joel falls silent again, and this time he stays silent for a little while as he walks slowly along the sand, thinking over Ellie's remark.

Huh, he thinks to himself. It's not that he hasn't been slowly getting used to it here but... he finds himself often forgetting that they're not home. That there are places they can go. Places that... might exist here that existed back home before the outbreak.

He glances over his shoulder at Ellie, notices that she's following his footsteps in the sand. It suddenly hits him all over again: he's going to miss her when he's out on the road doing the drops. It's weirdly going to be like Texas all over again: working long hours, not coming home until odd hours of the night, leaving Ellie to her own devices the way Sarah was. The only difference is, he'll be able to afford it without an iota of financial struggle.

He slows to a stop and turns to face Ellie.]

Tell you what: once I'm settled into this new job, once I got a routine goin' and am familiar with everythin', let's go somewhere. Like a vacation.

[So preoccupied is she with fitting her foot inside the prints left by Joel's that she all but bumps into his back when he slows.]

Yeah? [She asks, smile growing on her face. She's never been on a vacation before. She and Riley always joked about visiting the quarantine zone in Los Angeles, if it even existed, always commenting to one another how they were saving up every penny. It was never going to happen, but damn, having that little glimmer of hope helped.]

That'd be cool. Think you'll have a place in mind by then?

[It's worth suggesting it even just to see that hopeful smile grow on Ellie's face. He means it, though: a vacation would be good. It'd be nice. They damn well deserve it after the hell they've been through together. He has no idea where yet and he's going to need to do some investigating to find out where they could go and what they could go, but--]

Yeah, think I will. Think I'll make it a surprise, too.

Okay, is that going to become a trend or something? You can't make everything a surprise.

[She flicks some wet sand his way with her foot. Surprises aren't all that bad, and she really has no problem with that, but she just wants to complain.]

Sure, I can.

[Surprise gifts, surprise trips to places she's never been before, surprise... whatever that he hopes will bring a smile to her face. Kids love surprises like that, don't they? Sarah did.]

What, don't like surprises?

I do. Just... don't go out of your way or anything. [She rubs at her nose and hurries a few feet ahead of Joel, crouching down in the sand.]

Whoa... hey, look at this, Joel.

[It's a sand dollar, stuck on the wet sand. Ellie doesn't touch it, unsure if it's alive or if it'll poison her or something.]

It's got like a starfish pattern on it.

[Joel watches Ellie hurry off as she spots something in the sand. He doesn't have to go out of his way for Ellie, at all, for anything - he knows that. And a little under a year ago, the thought of going out of his way for her at all while smuggling her out of the zone filled him with a sick, uneasy dread that hit too close to home. But now... well, she's become more precious to him, more important to him, than anything.

He starts after her as she crouches down to peer at something on the sand, and he crouches down alongside her.]

Yeah, it's a sand dollar. Looks like it might be dead. [Resting a knee down on the sand, he carefully lifts it and turns it over.]

Yeah, it's dead. Live sand dollars have little bristles that move, but this little fella sure ain't moving. See that little hole there in the centre? That's its mouth. [He turns it back over, holds it out to Ellie.] Wanna hold it? They ain't poisonous, not even the live ones.

That looks nothing like a dollar. Or a dollar looks nothing like it.

[Despite her next words, she gently takes it from Joel's hand to inspect it closer.]

Gross. It's more like a round starfish then, right? They have tiny mouths in their middles.

Yeah, kinda. Think they're like some kinda sea urchin or somethin'. They're related to the starfish, anyways.

[Leaving Ellie to examine the dead sand dollar, Joel pushes himself up and goes wading ankle-deep into the water, stooping over to peer around for other sand dollars. He spots one a few moments later; it's much darker than the one Ellie is holding. He lifts it up from the water and takes it back to Ellie, crouching down next to her again. He turns the creature upside down for Ellie to see its underside.]

This little guy here is alive. See them bristles, how they're movin' about?

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