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[ Joel's face twists into bewildered, shocked outrage. Hit her? What in the goddamned hell makes Ellie think he'd ever do that? ]

Ellie--

[ He drops his hand away and takes a step back. He's completely forgotten Lucy is at his feet: he startles as he accidentally tramples on her paw, causing her to let out a pained shrieking yelp. A muttered, "Jesus," escapes him as he quickly sidesteps, looking down just in time to see Lucy scampering off in fright. He'll check on her in a minute. He's sure she'll be fine.

He sets his attention back on Ellie. He still can't believe Ellie suggested he'd hit her. Her saying that has cut him somewhere deep, and it shows with the way he takes a slow half-step back from her. He swallows, hard. ]

I would... never--

[ He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. ]

[She'd been holding her breath, half expecting him to deck her in his frenzied denial of Tess' existence. Lucy's yelp makes her jump and she stops herself from running off to check on the dog, even though she'd much rather her company than Joel's right now.]

That's what I said. [She would never bring up Tess like this if she didn't have to.]

[ There are a lot of things Ellie could say to him that he'd make roll off his back. Sure, he'd get moody about it, maybe brood for a bit, but he'd then pretend it had never happened and gruffly keep going. But there are some things Ellie could say to him that would cut deeper than a knife, and her thinking he'd ever hit her is one of them.

Despite how furious he'd been a moment ago with all this talk of Tess, he's honestly speechless. A long, sharp silence lingers in the air between Ellie and himself.

What if, a voice dares to speak up in the back of his mind, she's telling the truth about Tess? Oh, but Jesus, he can't handle that. He cannot handle that. He starts turning away from Ellie like he's about to walk off, but then lingers listlessly on the spot, a hand coming up to run anxiously over his beard. Like he's honestly possibly starting to consider that she's telling the truth. Joel has always been a man who says a lot more in the things he doesn't say. ]

I don't lie to you. You know that, Joel. [It's easier to focus on him than actually think about Tess.] Look, I get it, it's--I get it. But you have to believe me or else it means I've totally lost my fucking mind.

[Always a possibility.]

[ Joel throws a hesitant and uncertain side glance at Ellie. At this rate, he'd rather believe Ellie had lost her mind than believe she's telling the truth. Thing is, he knows Ellie; he knows she doesn't lie, not about things like this. He knows Ellie wouldn't make this up, as much as he wants to convince himself that she has.

Oh, shit. Shit. He starts pacing a few steps away from Ellie, slow and aimless and tense. Her accusation is still ringing through his head, too, sharp and stinging. It hurts enough that he almost can't bring himself to look at her.

But he does: he turns to face her again, though can't quite meet her eyes just yet. The hand that had been rubbing over his beard is now gesturing out at Ellie, level and commanding, like he wants her to listen to him. ]

Look-- maybe it was just... just someone who looks like Tess, alright? You're probably gettin' it mixed up with someone else.

It was her. I... I wish it was someone else. [A terrible thing to say, but look at him--he's a mess.] I know what I saw.

Look, you only knew her for a few hours! [ As opposed to him; he'd known Tess for near on ten fucking years. He's snapping at Ellie, almost yelling again. He really cannot handle this, and he's grasping at anything now to try to disprove what she saw. ] How in the hell can you be so goddamn sure?

[She'd just been about to put a hand on his back, let him know that she wasn't upset with him (or afraid of him), but that rush of anger again makes her drop her arm and take a step back.

And doesn't say anything, because maybe she's wrong. That's a possibility, isn't it?]

[ Christ, he hopes she's wrong. Just the mere thought of seeing Tess, alive and in the flesh, when the very last time he saw her had been lying sprawled on the Capitol building floor in a pool of her own blood--

The thought of it, the simmering panic that Ellie might be right, honestly makes him feel sick. Stepping across to the couch, he clutches the back of it in his hand and sinks down onto the arm of the chair, just staring down at the floor. His hand comes up, the back of his fingers absently pressing against his lips as though he's physically trying to hold back his panic. Or maybe the urge to vomit as it sinks in more and more that Ellie really could be right. ]

[She can't say she doesn't know and she can't say she knows how he feels. He won't have it.

Hesitantly, she approaches him, and this time tries to put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

As always, she's there.]

[ Joel feels Ellie's hand settling on his shoulder but he doesn't really acknowledge it. Lifting his hand from where they're still pressed against his lips, he runs it through his hair, head bowing low for a moment. There's a very obvious tension in his shoulders, coiled up tight.

He brings his hand down to rub his face, fingers rubbing against his eyes. Fuck. ]

Look, just-- Just check on Lucy a minute.

[ Seems such a stupid and trivial request considering everything that's just happened. Perhaps it's Joel just needing some space to think this over. Perhaps it's another angled attempt at trying to deny all of this. Could also be both. ]

A minute. [She'll count to sixty. Ellie lingers for a moment, both eager to get away and also not wanting to leave him alone.] I'll be back.

[ Without looking at her, Joel just waves her away. He needs space, goddamn it.

About thirty seconds later, he's pushing himself up from the arm of the couch and is heading for the bathroom. Not to be sick, just to go somewhere where Ellie likely won't follow him. The sound of the bathroom door shutting tight resounds down the hall. ]

[Lucy is fine, greeting Ellie with a wagging tail and bright eyes when she finds her in the bedroom. All her paws are accounted for, and she rubs her snout as she hears Joel escape into the bathroom.

God, he knows how to make her worry about him. But she knows how he is, knows that he needs space, even if that's the last thing she needs right now.]

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