contact ☣ ❝Am I ever getting boobs or what?❞

[vaccination]

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a steak pun is a rare medium well done

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very funny

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thanks

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joel got me a puppy the other day [Let's focus on that, not the dead BFF popping up.]

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how many times has it pooped inside

[yes lets do that instead of mutual wound-licking]

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did u seriously ask that first before asking if u can see her

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i ask the hard questions

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can i come see ur puppy

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yeah joels away 4 a while so its safe

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u got really good at chatspeak over the past couple weeks

im on my way

[Not even five minutes later, Wally is knocking on Ellie's front door.]

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[That's because typing sucks!! But Ellie doesn't want to type that out, so she just heads over to the door. Before she opens it, she scoops the puppy into her arms.]

Jeez, that was quick.

perma-action

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[Whatever expression Wally had been wearing before -trepidation, boredom, maybe just blank acceptance- falls away in favor of a big, stupid grin that has the puppy waggling her entire back end. Oh yes. She recognizes a dog person when she sees one.]

Oh my god, who's the baby?! Who's this little baby girl with her little baby face?! [Immediately reaches to ruffle her ears and squish her face oh wow she's adorable he's in love can he borrow her]

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[Ellie's been feeling all sorts of numb, but Wally's reaction makes her smile. The puppy wiggles excitedly, trying with all her might to get closer to his face, tongue flicking out of her mouth all the while.]

Whoa, easy, easy, Lucy.

Aww, hey. Look, finally a girl that likes you.

[Can't help it.]

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[Wally pauses after bending down and letting the puppy put her slobber all over his face. That jab wasn't delivered with the same amount of self-congratulatory glee that it usually would be.]

You okay?

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Me? Yeah, I'm fine. [She makes a "tch" sound and looks at Wally like he's crazy.

Very... convincing...]

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...uh huh. [wally realizes that he may look very stupid but he will have you know that he is only SELECTIVELY stupid, thank u] Can I hold her? What's her name?

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Yeah, sure. She's squirmy so don't drop her. [Ellie will kill you.] We named her Lucy.

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[Wally takes the wriggling bundle from Ellie, and immediately his face is attacked. WHICH IS AWESOME]

Why Luc- AUGH UGH IN MY MOUTH-

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[Fuck, now that's funny.]

Never made it that far with a girl before, I bet.

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Jeeeesus, two for oh. Do you enjoy making me cry? [yeah wally u look real close to crying

snuggling a puppy determined to kiss ur face off]

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I like making boys cry.

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I'm somehow completely unsurprised.

[What is it about puppies that make people feel so much better? Wally puts Lucy up on his shoulder like she's a little baby and pats her back. She thanks him by chewing on his hair.] Hope I didn't piss off your not-dad old guy friend too much when I came over. [Considering he hasn't been invited back, Wally thinks he might've. Oops.]

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[It's fine, Ellie babies Lucy, too.]

Uh--no, he's just... like that. Hard to get along with most people. [It's more for Wally's sake that she hasn't done another movie night. Joel is ever watchful.] He can be scary, but he's really not once you get to know him. It just takes a while.

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I wouldn't say 'scary' so much as 'profoundly unfriendly,' but that's just me. [Here, you can have your puppy back. He is so generous.]

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He's got his reasons. [Ellie takes the puppy back and holds her much like Wally was.] He's still settling in here.