ellie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vaccination) wrote2020-07-25 10:45 pm
vaccination) wrote2020-07-25 10:45 pm
TLV | inbox
AUDIO | VIDEO | TEXT | ACTION
AUDIO | VIDEO | TEXT | ACTION
Works for me. I'll find one of these "dress" contraptions.
[Help. How did this get worse. This is like, movie stuff. As in stuff she's seen in movies.]
I'm--uh, I think I can manage. I'll let you know if I'm resorting to a potato sack.
I'm--uh, I think I can manage. I'll let you know if I'm resorting to a potato sack.
It feels stupid coming to Ellie's door with nothing in hand, so he has one of his books, a few of his CDs, and a folded origami cat. She's the reason he's getting out, she deserves something in thanks, right?
He taps on it with metal fingers. Ellie's one of the last ones he's saying goodbye to. It's time.
He taps on it with metal fingers. Ellie's one of the last ones he's saying goodbye to. It's time.
It's kind of funny, really.
She and Dina would have stupid what-if chats. What if one day, JJ was grown and wanted to live on his own? Move out? Well, I hope he'd figure out how to not poop in his pants by then, Ellie would joke, but really she didn't like the idea of JJ leaving, even if it was nearly two decades off in some unknown future. She likes her people with her, close. She hates goodbyes. She hates losing the few she cares about.
She wanted Bucky to graduate because she would get her person back, but he'd become one of her people, too. And now she's terrified of facing Joel, of all the emotions, and so she's staying and Bucky is leaving. It's weird. Maybe not so funny.
But this was the point of it all, right? It can't be for nothing. He has to go live his life and figure the rest of the shit out.
So, when Ellie opens the door and sees B with some things in his arms, she knows it's time. She steps back so he can come in.
"Hey, B. That time already?"
She and Dina would have stupid what-if chats. What if one day, JJ was grown and wanted to live on his own? Move out? Well, I hope he'd figure out how to not poop in his pants by then, Ellie would joke, but really she didn't like the idea of JJ leaving, even if it was nearly two decades off in some unknown future. She likes her people with her, close. She hates goodbyes. She hates losing the few she cares about.
She wanted Bucky to graduate because she would get her person back, but he'd become one of her people, too. And now she's terrified of facing Joel, of all the emotions, and so she's staying and Bucky is leaving. It's weird. Maybe not so funny.
But this was the point of it all, right? It can't be for nothing. He has to go live his life and figure the rest of the shit out.
So, when Ellie opens the door and sees B with some things in his arms, she knows it's time. She steps back so he can come in.
"Hey, B. That time already?"
"Pairings are tomorrow," B says, subdued, drifting inside. His shoulders are hunched in, head down, making himself smaller. "Can't risk it." Graduated or not, he's not in any shape to be responsible for another person. He can barely manage being responsible for himself.
"I get it."
She's a selfish person, at the core, but not so selfish as to ask him to go through the whole warden thing when he really doesn't want to do it.
"What's the plan?"
She's a selfish person, at the core, but not so selfish as to ask him to go through the whole warden thing when he really doesn't want to do it.
"What's the plan?"
"Go back to the helicarrier. Get Steve out of the river. Then go pick up Vesta and my stuff," B answers, looking around the room like maybe he's trying to memorize it. "Admiral says he'll put them somewhere safe, let me know where. Then. Probably hide out for a little while, try to take the rest of HYDRA out, before going back to Steve." And doing better. He's going to do better than the other version of him, not make Steve think he's hiding from him because he doesn't want to see him. But because it's safer for them both, just for a little while.
It's a plan. Ellie nods, knowing he'll be okay. The shit in his file sounds worse than that.
"I, uh. I guess you'll be able to keep these, then."
She awkwardly steps back to grab the little stack of pun books from her coffee table. The same series as the others she had him read, but different.
"More homework for you. No such thing as too many puns, right?"
There's another awkward pause as she flips through the top one. There's some folded up paper in there, and she shrugs.
"You can... look at that later, after you handle shit, I just... wrote you some stuff." A thank you and a goodbye, and a little portrait of each of them in Ellie's simple style.
"I, uh. I guess you'll be able to keep these, then."
She awkwardly steps back to grab the little stack of pun books from her coffee table. The same series as the others she had him read, but different.
"More homework for you. No such thing as too many puns, right?"
There's another awkward pause as she flips through the top one. There's some folded up paper in there, and she shrugs.
"You can... look at that later, after you handle shit, I just... wrote you some stuff." A thank you and a goodbye, and a little portrait of each of them in Ellie's simple style.
"Ellie." He looks like maybe she'd punched him-- but in a good way. (It's not like Ellie punching him is going to hurt, anyway, not really.) He sets his own burden down to take the pun books, like he's accepting something precious. He spied those papers, all right, and he isn't going to look yet. He's going to hug them to his chest, instead. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, B." She could cry again, or swallow it down in favor of trying to leave him with a good last memory of her.
"I used to call you Buddy, remember? When we first met. You really did become my buddy. It's like I'm psychic or something."
"I used to call you Buddy, remember? When we first met. You really did become my buddy. It's like I'm psychic or something."
"You're my friend. You named me," he says, still hugging the books. "That's. I'm never going to forget that."
Then he sets the books down and steps over to hug her, instead. He promised a second hug, and it seems like an important place to do it. If there has to be a third hug later in the conversation, so be it.
Then he sets the books down and steps over to hug her, instead. He promised a second hug, and it seems like an important place to do it. If there has to be a third hug later in the conversation, so be it.
The hug makes it really fucking hard not to cry like a baby. She hugs him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Yeah. We're always friends," she nods. "I promise I'm not going to be a total hermit when you're gone."
But she'll miss him. A lot more than she thought she would, when he became her inmate.
"Yeah. We're always friends," she nods. "I promise I'm not going to be a total hermit when you're gone."
But she'll miss him. A lot more than she thought she would, when he became her inmate.
Holding still for the hug helps him keep from crying, himself: conflicting emotional responses are fun. It isn't the world's best hug, but he is putting in an effort, and it's warm, flesh arm around her shoulders and metal one on the small of her back.
It's when he steps back again and tries to answer that he finds his eyes are burning, and he has to blink a few times. "You'd better not. Somebody needs to. To drag Steve out when he turns into a hermit." Because Steve will.
It's when he steps back again and tries to answer that he finds his eyes are burning, and he has to blink a few times. "You'd better not. Somebody needs to. To drag Steve out when he turns into a hermit." Because Steve will.
She rubs at her nose, trying to ignore whatever she might see in his eyes. If he cries, she's definitely going to fucking lose it again.
"I won't let him. I'm gonna get him to graduate, too." Whether she's his warden or not. "I'll make sure he's okay."
"I won't let him. I'm gonna get him to graduate, too." Whether she's his warden or not. "I'll make sure he's okay."
"Good. Good, I'm. Really glad he's got people. And you've got people." He blinks a few more times, sniffs once, and rallies. "I brought you some stuff. It's. It's not much, but."
He turns back to what he'd brought. There's one of his kid's books that he thinks she might enjoy, a CD version of the record they listened to in her Enclosure-made cabin, and an Echo and the Bunnymen album that he thinks she might get a kick out of because the lyrics are weird as hell. Plus the origami cat. He offers them to her.
It's not like he needs them, going off where he's going. And it's something she can remember him by, maybe.
He turns back to what he'd brought. There's one of his kid's books that he thinks she might enjoy, a CD version of the record they listened to in her Enclosure-made cabin, and an Echo and the Bunnymen album that he thinks she might get a kick out of because the lyrics are weird as hell. Plus the origami cat. He offers them to her.
It's not like he needs them, going off where he's going. And it's something she can remember him by, maybe.
Ellie takes the stack of items carefully, breathing out with a soft hoo because this is getting more and more difficult. Her vision blurs a little as she looks down at them, but she has a general idea of what each item is.
"It's awesome." They'll go home with her, one day. "Thanks, B. I'll... I'll keep this forever."
"It's awesome." They'll go home with her, one day. "Thanks, B. I'll... I'll keep this forever."
"And I'll be reading puns to all Steve's friends," B promises. The note and pictures are going to wind up tucked into his notebooks with Steve's drawings and all his memories. Precious things to keep. "Just. Thanks. You put in a lot of work for this. A lot of care. Into me." The Enclosure trips, the checking in after every port and breach, prodding him to try the piano, the faith that he would never hurt her. The name. There's so much he can just lay at her feet, for pushing him along, reluctant and uncertain and expecting it all to come to nothing.
"I'd do it all over again." She will, maybe, with Steve. B got her Joel, and maybe Steve will get her a world where she doesn't have to lose anyone to the infection. She won't have to sit around and wait for her turn.
But she's not looking forward to going through this again. Caring about her inmate, and then saying goodbye. It hurts.
"You take care of yourself, okay? That's the last thing I'm gonna ask you to do for me, B."
But she's not looking forward to going through this again. Caring about her inmate, and then saying goodbye. It hurts.
"You take care of yourself, okay? That's the last thing I'm gonna ask you to do for me, B."
"I'll try," he promises, and smiles faintly, if sadly. "I've got a different Steve to keep an eye on. So I gotta be in good shape to do that." He just hopes that works out as well as this one has. That people in his world will like him. That he doesn't fuck it all up somehow. "I know you'll take good care of this one for me."
"I'll try," she echoes. "You old antiques from the 40s with your super solider serums and shit are pains in the ass, but I seem to like that or something. You don't gotta worry about the Steve here. I'm gonna make sure he graduates and figures out what he wants, and then... I'll go home, too."
She can't avoid Joel and those conversations forever.
She can't avoid Joel and those conversations forever.
"You can see your person. And your girl." He nods. He's sure Joel will just be happy to see her. Proud of her, for helping people, for saving her world. Surely he couldn't be anything else. He would be. "I'll be rooting for you from. Across the universe somewhere."
And he's pretty sure if he stays any longer he really is going to cry. He's still got Steve to say good-bye to, too. So he collects his pun books, keeping her on the corner of his eye more to remember exactly what she looks like than out of the normal wariness.
And he's pretty sure if he stays any longer he really is going to cry. He's still got Steve to say good-bye to, too. So he collects his pun books, keeping her on the corner of his eye more to remember exactly what she looks like than out of the normal wariness.
She can feel her heart sink when he gathers up his things. Ellie puts down hers, and goes in for one last hug--from her to him, not caring if his hands are full.
"One more for the road. Goodbye, B. I know you'll be okay. You're one of the toughest people I've known. I'm gonna miss you like hell, but I'll be okay, too. Endure and survive is what we do."
She's glad she decided against giving him any of her Savage Starlight comics because she totally lifted that line from there. Ellie gives him a tight squeeze before letting go and turning around because if she watches him go, she'll totally cry.
"One more for the road. Goodbye, B. I know you'll be okay. You're one of the toughest people I've known. I'm gonna miss you like hell, but I'll be okay, too. Endure and survive is what we do."
She's glad she decided against giving him any of her Savage Starlight comics because she totally lifted that line from there. Ellie gives him a tight squeeze before letting go and turning around because if she watches him go, she'll totally cry.
He's a little trapped, which does induce a brief spike of panic, but he smothers it and worms the flesh arm out so he can curl it around her and pat her back. "I'll miss you, too. But I won't ever forget. I hope you get everything you want, Ellie. I hope you get to be happy."
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